spiritualgrowth
Sheila Westrick

Sheila Westrick

Spiritual Growth

September 2019

Thank You for CallingThe Bible Study Hotline’

If you are the only one who has read the assignment for the fifth meeting in a row; please press 1 for a no-judgement venting session.

If it’s Ruth’s turn to choose the study & she wants to read Revelation again to “look for more symbolism;” please press 2 for an alternative study.

If you were supposed to bring a tray of cookies shaped like tiny Bibles but they currently look like two large stone tablets of commandments; please press 3 for Pinterest fails.

For instructions on how to carve Noah’s Ark out of a wheel of cheese; please press 4.

To find a Bible study group with less complicated snack standards; please press 5.

If you always read the assignment but life got crazy, so you just read the footnotes, explanatory translation notes & cheater helps at the back of the book (just this one time you swear); please press 6.

For tips on how to pull the conversation away from Sheila’s latest life drama to the current study; please press 7.

If everyone hated the Bible study you chose; please press 8.

If you need a Bible study that has enough “symbolism” to keep Ruth happy but that’s not too energetic or controversial as to drag Sheila down a rabbit hole, & also leaves plenty of time for prayer circle; please press 9.

If you couldn’t hear all the options because you are calling from church & Sunday school just let out; please press 0 to repeat the menu.

Adapted from Julie Vick’s “Thank You for Calling the Book Club Helpline”

Real Simple Magazine – June 2019, pg. 144.

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